On Wednesday I was honored to be invited by Veronica Haggerty to attend an event in Philadelphia related to strengthening marriages. It was the annual meeting of the Greater Philadelphia Healthy Marriage Coalition.
Here are some photos from the meeting:
I sat next to Rev. Stuart H. Spencer, pastor of New Hope Presbyterian Church, and Shareef El-Amin, operations coordinator for Mayor Michael Nutter's Fatherhood Initiative Program. The first person who spoke was Rita DeMaria of the Council for Relationships. I'd heard of her before, from my days working with Pat Ennis and the Central New York Healthy Marriage Coalition in Syracuse, and my previous work with Diane Sollee and the Smart Marriages Coalition in Washington, D.C. It was a pleasure to finally meet Rita.
Rita's introduction was followed by a series of additional speakers, including Dave Lett of the US Administration for Children and Families; Rob Harrison of the city's African American Healthy Marriage Initiative; Dan Cortes and Jose Lastra of the Hispanic Healthy Marriage Institute; Francis Hoat Pham of the South East Asia Task Force; Gil Coleman of the Mayor's Office of Community Services; and Rev. Al Douglass of Upper Dublin Lutheran Church in Ambler.
A highlight of the meeting came when Mr. Lett read a document from the mayor's office proclaiming March 2009 as Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood Month in Philadelphia.
"Research suggests that a strong family structure translates to the social and economic well-being of children. Two-parent, married families produce children who are more likely to be law-abiding, resist drugs and violence, complete higher education, excel in their desired career and become healthy, self-sufficient adults," the proclamation reads.
"Through the acknowledgment of a healthy marriage and increased parental presence, our communities will grow safer and more productive, relationships will flourish and future generations will always be able to count on a family member for positive guidance."
It was a great day for strengthening marriages in the Philadelphia area and I was very glad to be there.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Review of the Walt Wangerin DVD Segment
Here's the text of a review article submitted to the St. Paul's congregational newsletter:
“How to Keep Christ at the Center of a Marriage”
By Walter Wangerin Jr.
© 2006 Augsburg Fortress
Minneapolis, Minn.
Review by Don Harting
This 20-minute teaching segment is the third of seven recorded lessons in The Lutheran Course on Marriage. This is the curriculum we followed during the marriage retreat in February.
I found this to be the strangest, but also the most powerful and memorable, of the segments we watched. I had heard of Walt Wangerin before, but never seen a picture of him. He appears intense on camera. His gray hair is shaved close to his head, his shiny face appears gaunt, his eyes gaze straight at the lens, and he speaks passionately.
In some ways I was a little turned off by his intensity and wordiness (sorry I’m an editor), but the message he was trying to convey is so central to our Christian faith, and to long-term success in marriage, that it cannot be ignored. Wangerin emphasizes the importance of forgiveness in marriage, and how faith in Jesus expands our capacity to forgive.
“I don’t know when it will happen,” he says, “but in all my experience as a pastor and a writer and a friend and a father and a grandfather, I’ve seen it happen that one spouse will sin against the other spouse in a hundred, thousand different ways, may not even know he is doing it, but sin against the other spouse beyond the other spouse’s ability to forgive. . . . By ourselves, on our own—without an infusion of the Holy Spirit—we are able to forgive, but we can forgive only so much. . . . If nothing happens and that sin continues, then comes the deterioration. Just like Adam and Eve, we put on clothes, we begin to hide ourselves from our spouse. . . . Or we try to ignore those things that are brutal. . . . This is where our Christian faith makes our marriage peculiar, my dear friends. More important than any other characteristic of a marriage is the capacity to forgive the sin that shall surely come.”
Wangerin goes on to prescribe a five-step process for us to follow as we forgive our spouses. In brief, they are 1) Realize your sinfulness 2) State the sin and its consequences 3) Declare forgiveness 4) Show that love continues 5) Renew the covenant.
He then shares a moving example, taken from his own marriage to Ruthanne.
This DVD segment gives The Lutheran Course on Marriage power and value to local congregations. I can see how it would encourage and empower couples to renew and revitalize fragile marriages, benefiting not just the spouses but also their kids. It’s another reason why I’m excited about this course, and how it could benefit St. Paul’s even more if we offer it again.
“How to Keep Christ at the Center of a Marriage”
By Walter Wangerin Jr.
© 2006 Augsburg Fortress
Minneapolis, Minn.
Review by Don Harting
This 20-minute teaching segment is the third of seven recorded lessons in The Lutheran Course on Marriage. This is the curriculum we followed during the marriage retreat in February.
I found this to be the strangest, but also the most powerful and memorable, of the segments we watched. I had heard of Walt Wangerin before, but never seen a picture of him. He appears intense on camera. His gray hair is shaved close to his head, his shiny face appears gaunt, his eyes gaze straight at the lens, and he speaks passionately.
In some ways I was a little turned off by his intensity and wordiness (sorry I’m an editor), but the message he was trying to convey is so central to our Christian faith, and to long-term success in marriage, that it cannot be ignored. Wangerin emphasizes the importance of forgiveness in marriage, and how faith in Jesus expands our capacity to forgive.
“I don’t know when it will happen,” he says, “but in all my experience as a pastor and a writer and a friend and a father and a grandfather, I’ve seen it happen that one spouse will sin against the other spouse in a hundred, thousand different ways, may not even know he is doing it, but sin against the other spouse beyond the other spouse’s ability to forgive. . . . By ourselves, on our own—without an infusion of the Holy Spirit—we are able to forgive, but we can forgive only so much. . . . If nothing happens and that sin continues, then comes the deterioration. Just like Adam and Eve, we put on clothes, we begin to hide ourselves from our spouse. . . . Or we try to ignore those things that are brutal. . . . This is where our Christian faith makes our marriage peculiar, my dear friends. More important than any other characteristic of a marriage is the capacity to forgive the sin that shall surely come.”
Wangerin goes on to prescribe a five-step process for us to follow as we forgive our spouses. In brief, they are 1) Realize your sinfulness 2) State the sin and its consequences 3) Declare forgiveness 4) Show that love continues 5) Renew the covenant.
He then shares a moving example, taken from his own marriage to Ruthanne.
This DVD segment gives The Lutheran Course on Marriage power and value to local congregations. I can see how it would encourage and empower couples to renew and revitalize fragile marriages, benefiting not just the spouses but also their kids. It’s another reason why I’m excited about this course, and how it could benefit St. Paul’s even more if we offer it again.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Minutes From Feb. 4 Meeting
On phone call, Don Harting and Pam Lenza
Opened and closed with prayer.
Discussed food items, in order. There will be snacks Friday night and full breakfast and lunch Saturday.
Discussed schedule – good as published. Don/Laura to arrive 5pm? Friday, Pam/Mark 6pm. All arrive 7:30 am Saturday.
Budget – Pam suggested small group leaders not pay – Don would like them to pay to keep all $500 in current budget. Pam suggested we have enough money to give St. Peter’s $100 out of budget – Don would like to hold on that decision. Currently all $500 is in budget and we have 4 packets not used. Income from retreat will be if all pay 8*45= $360 and cost for food are $136 leaving $224 surplus – which considering the $195 spent out of last year’s budget on the packets is roughly break even. If all pay and send love offering to St. Peter’s and not take money out of budget for that – budget should be $724 remaining for the rest of the year.
Discussed facility, key, kitchen. Don may run by to test key if he has time. Pam will call Denise to ask kitchen questions.
Don asked Pam to check evaluation link on blog – done, and it works.
Pam will do list for Mark to collect payments at retreat.
Don will ask perhaps Laura, others to introduce table talk discussion cards.
Don will ask Cari how he can get St. Paul’s projector.
Don and Pr. Mark will meet Friday to discuss worship. Up for discussion is music, etc.
Items to Bring
Don KEY
extension cord
Table talk cards
Packets (handbook)
Flowers for tables
Vases
4 folding chairs
Projection screen
Blue hymnals
Projector
Eval forms
Pr. Mark
DVD
Laptop
Speakers for laptop
Leader guide
Recorded music?
Pam
4-8 folding chairs
Food
6 packets
Pencils and sharpener
Box for offering
List for payments
Laptop
Vases
Tablecloths
Scissors
Other decorations
Opened and closed with prayer.
Discussed food items, in order. There will be snacks Friday night and full breakfast and lunch Saturday.
Discussed schedule – good as published. Don/Laura to arrive 5pm? Friday, Pam/Mark 6pm. All arrive 7:30 am Saturday.
Budget – Pam suggested small group leaders not pay – Don would like them to pay to keep all $500 in current budget. Pam suggested we have enough money to give St. Peter’s $100 out of budget – Don would like to hold on that decision. Currently all $500 is in budget and we have 4 packets not used. Income from retreat will be if all pay 8*45= $360 and cost for food are $136 leaving $224 surplus – which considering the $195 spent out of last year’s budget on the packets is roughly break even. If all pay and send love offering to St. Peter’s and not take money out of budget for that – budget should be $724 remaining for the rest of the year.
Discussed facility, key, kitchen. Don may run by to test key if he has time. Pam will call Denise to ask kitchen questions.
Don asked Pam to check evaluation link on blog – done, and it works.
Pam will do list for Mark to collect payments at retreat.
Don will ask perhaps Laura, others to introduce table talk discussion cards.
Don will ask Cari how he can get St. Paul’s projector.
Don and Pr. Mark will meet Friday to discuss worship. Up for discussion is music, etc.
Items to Bring
Don KEY
extension cord
Table talk cards
Packets (handbook)
Flowers for tables
Vases
4 folding chairs
Projection screen
Blue hymnals
Projector
Eval forms
Pr. Mark
DVD
Laptop
Speakers for laptop
Leader guide
Recorded music?
Pam
4-8 folding chairs
Food
6 packets
Pencils and sharpener
Box for offering
List for payments
Laptop
Vases
Tablecloths
Scissors
Other decorations
Monday, February 2, 2009
Retreat Gets the Green Light!
Many thanks to Karen and Tom Slyman for signing up Monday morning to attend The Lutheran Course on Marriage! They put us "over the top" in terms of the minimum number of couples needed to make the retreat viable. (Without a certain number of couples, one of our small groups might seem a bit TOO small.)
Other retreatants, at this writing, include:
Mark and Pam Lenza
Mark and Candy Knepley
Kristy and John Young
Ron and Lisa Dziuk
Teresa and Scott McPherson
It would be nice to have an "insurance couple" or two, in case someone's babysitter backs out at the last minute. If you know of any other couples who might like to attend, I would be happy to call and extend a special invitation.
As you know, the overall retreat, worship, and large group leader is Pastor Mark, and your small group facilitators will be Bill and Bridget Lillis and Laura (my wife) and myself.
This blog is set up so anyone can read it and anyone can comment. Please feel free to send me questions and I'll do my best to answer them here, so everyone else can read them.
Once again, thanks for signing up. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Friday evening.
Other retreatants, at this writing, include:
Mark and Pam Lenza
Mark and Candy Knepley
Kristy and John Young
Ron and Lisa Dziuk
Teresa and Scott McPherson
It would be nice to have an "insurance couple" or two, in case someone's babysitter backs out at the last minute. If you know of any other couples who might like to attend, I would be happy to call and extend a special invitation.
As you know, the overall retreat, worship, and large group leader is Pastor Mark, and your small group facilitators will be Bill and Bridget Lillis and Laura (my wife) and myself.
This blog is set up so anyone can read it and anyone can comment. Please feel free to send me questions and I'll do my best to answer them here, so everyone else can read them.
Once again, thanks for signing up. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Friday evening.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Notes from January 19 phone call
Present: Don Harting, Pam Lenza
Opened and closed with prayer.
Don has gotten permission to do verbal announcements for next two weeks at Sunday services. Don will do late service, will let person doing announcements read it at early service. Discussed 2nd announcement – agreed nice change.
Published materials have start time of Friday evening at 7pm. Discussed briefly – this may be a bit early for some people Pam thinks, but first few minutes will be for greeting people anyway. Because of the compressed time, Don feels we may have to drop one or two sessions.
Discussed end date for sign ups – agreed on Sunday February 1st. Will have to get work emails, or cell phone numbers etc. from participants in the event that we must cancel at the last minute for weather.
Don will bring the easel again on Sunday and place in narthex with the picture of St. Peters.
Pam spoke to Kirsten – she may be able to help with the food.
Training for small group leaders begins this week.
Next meeting – TBD.
Opened and closed with prayer.
Don has gotten permission to do verbal announcements for next two weeks at Sunday services. Don will do late service, will let person doing announcements read it at early service. Discussed 2nd announcement – agreed nice change.
Published materials have start time of Friday evening at 7pm. Discussed briefly – this may be a bit early for some people Pam thinks, but first few minutes will be for greeting people anyway. Because of the compressed time, Don feels we may have to drop one or two sessions.
Discussed end date for sign ups – agreed on Sunday February 1st. Will have to get work emails, or cell phone numbers etc. from participants in the event that we must cancel at the last minute for weather.
Don will bring the easel again on Sunday and place in narthex with the picture of St. Peters.
Pam spoke to Kirsten – she may be able to help with the food.
Training for small group leaders begins this week.
Next meeting – TBD.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Notes From Jan. 13 Meeting
Present, Don Harting, Mark and Pam Lenza
Opened and closed with prayer.
Discussed coffee fellowship for Sunday the 18th. Pam will bring treats, grapes, creamer, juice. Don will bring cookies and twinkies and bagels. Pam will make or get copies of the handout. Pam will bring laptop to play DVD. Arrive 8:45 am to setup.
Pam will ask Cari about an easel.
Discussed food at retreat – no one has volunteered to help.
Pam will call Kirsten McCurdy.
Announcements: Don will draft announcements and present at both services if possible. (Ask Care about verbal announcements.) Don will also send bulletin and newsletter announcements.
Don might take picture of St. Peter’s for a poster. Pam will look for the flyer picture.
Blog address is marriage-education.blogspot.com.
Discussed folding chairs at St. Peter’s –if we only need 12 we can bring our own so we don’t need to get a separate key from St. Peter’s.
Agreed to pray for: God’s leadership
Pr. Mark
People to help
Small group leaders
Training coming up
Who ever signs up
Next meeting: Monday Jan 19th – probably will be a phone call
Opened and closed with prayer.
Discussed coffee fellowship for Sunday the 18th. Pam will bring treats, grapes, creamer, juice. Don will bring cookies and twinkies and bagels. Pam will make or get copies of the handout. Pam will bring laptop to play DVD. Arrive 8:45 am to setup.
Pam will ask Cari about an easel.
Discussed food at retreat – no one has volunteered to help.
Pam will call Kirsten McCurdy.
Announcements: Don will draft announcements and present at both services if possible. (Ask Care about verbal announcements.) Don will also send bulletin and newsletter announcements.
Don might take picture of St. Peter’s for a poster. Pam will look for the flyer picture.
Blog address is marriage-education.blogspot.com.
Discussed folding chairs at St. Peter’s –if we only need 12 we can bring our own so we don’t need to get a separate key from St. Peter’s.
Agreed to pray for: God’s leadership
Pr. Mark
People to help
Small group leaders
Training coming up
Who ever signs up
Next meeting: Monday Jan 19th – probably will be a phone call
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
St. Peter's, Chester Springs
This is the church where we will hold the retreat.
St. Peter's Lutheran Church is located at 1239 Clover Mill Road, Chester Springs.
The office is open 10 to 2, M-F, phone (610) 933-9611.
DIRECTIONS TO THE CHURCH
Part of Clover Mill Road is closed for construction, so you need to follow a detour to get to the church.
Assuming you are coming from St. Paul's, take Route 113 north toward Phoenixville. Counting from the Route 100 intersection, travel about 4 miles north. Turn right on Pikeland Road, which is right across from Hallman General Store. Travel about 1.25 miles, make a left on Street Road, at the stop sign. Follow Street Road about half a mile. Turn left at the intersection with Clover Mill Road. Go about two tenths of a mile, past the first St. Peter's church you see. You want the second St. Peter's (the first is UCC). Take the second entrance, parking lot is to the rear. Retreat will be in the basement of the main building.
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